And it happened.
Again.
This time for real.
I pushed too far.
Stretched the band, and it snapped.
But I was miserable, what could I do?
I just did what I knew?
Running from the phone that rings.
Hiding from the light that sees.
Falling from the mistakes that infected me.
Who taught me anything else?
Who showed me how? Help me?
Screw the system, screw the world!
I didn’t care. For anything. Nothing. Why live?
A shell, moving through a dark ether of A minor,
Waiting for a collision with something meaningful.
Something other than this grayness.
Something real. Just a spark of good.
Please…
And then I hit something.
A wonder.
A miracle.
Colors, so bright, it is blinding.
Warmth, so hot, it is burning.
The height, so high, I’m flying.
I got lucky.
How did this find me? Can not believe.
When did this happen? Why me?
How do I welcome this?
What is this beautiful chord?
How do I work with all this color?
The tension in my limbs relaxing.
The fear in my words dissolving.
The shell around my heart fading.
Things are good now. Things are safe.
I’m safe. I’m safe…
But I wake up cold.
I wake up drenched.
I see shapes in the darkness,
I shiver and dash my head around sickly.
It is then, in the middle of night.
It is then, when I continue.
My unending, everlasting quest.
To find the magician,
who is fooling me.
The Realm of Indifference 